(Good luck.) Or maybe you once were a teenage daughter.
Or maybe you have an antique table that's crooked and need something about an inch thick to put under one of the legs.
is a warm and funny look at life with teenagers, a survival guide written by a man who isn't sure he's actually surviving.
This isn't easy, because the daughters don't want to be protected in fact, when they get to be teenagers, "dangerous" somehow becomes synonymous with "attractive." When they were little, they were frightened there were monsters in their closets, and wanted you to check.
Then they got older, and you worry there might be boys in there, and they scream at you that you have no right to look in the closet, it is their private property!
(Example Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk, you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure as heck not picking anything up.) These 8 Simple Rules, posted on their bedroom doors when my daughters refused the idea of wearing T-shirts with the rules printed on the back, worked about as well as you could expect, which is to say, not at all.
My daughters continued to behave in ways I can only describe as FBF (forbidden by father) until they finally became old enough to admit I was right along.
You used to be the most important male figure in their lives, and now they regard you as if you are something growing on the shower curtain.
You've been replaced by a slinking, sniveling succession of slackers who stare at your daughters with ill-disguised desire. The first time a boy comes over to see your daughter, your instinct is to ask him to leave your property and your planet.
Buy his book for yourself and a copy for all of your friends NOW before they sell out!
We all need to laugh and thank God, we have Bruce Cameron to help us out." "8 Simple Rules is not about daughter control, it's about bladder control.
(I suppose I should reveal that though they were old enough to make this humble admission, they didn't actually do so.) Then they moved out, somehow thinking this would mean an end to FBF activities, which is absurd.