Everything in my life was about to change, and I was drinking a lot. I hadn’t seen or thought about him in nearly a year. My name is Elena.”He turned to me, looked me up and down, and said, “Hey, yeah…I remember you. We told them to meet us at the Chapel of the Bells at 7PM. We didn’t have a long engagement full of planning and stress to throw a lavish wedding for a guest list that is entirely too big.One night my friends and I decided to go see some live music at a local bar. I was feeling pretty tipsy [AKA fearless] so I walked right up to him and said “Hey! After our 2.5 minute wedding ceremony and 0 spent on the marriage certificate and Chapel fees, we got some take-out to eat at our favorite bar, had a couple drinks, got our wedding bands tattooed [for free by a friend] and went home. I moved in with him right after we got hitched, and guess what? We didn’t have a 2-week honeymoon to a tropical island. I suppose I just want you to know that if you love someone and want to spend the rest of your life with them…you need to tell them. Tell them how you feel and that they’re it for you. If you want to marry someone, then marry the fuck out of them and don’t apologize for it.Saying "I love you" to my family is super normal for me; saying "I love you" to a gentleman caller is not. )As one who is admittedly unqualified to determine if a month is an appropriate amount of time to date before saying "I love you," I instead spoke to dating and relationship expert Meredith Golden to gather her opinion on the matter Here's what she said: This is a great point. "That's long enough to fall in love and to verbally express it." So basically, if you've done a relationship "Whole 30" for the month, just do it. My unsolicited opinion is that if you have 30 days in a row to spend with your new boo, maybe there are other parts of your life that are lacking?
And in that excitement, it’s easy to jump ahead and make some big dating mistakes.
Here are nine things to avoid doing in the first month of dating: 1. Here’s a rule you can steal from “How I Met Your Mother”: “Never make plans with a date further in the future than the amount of time you’ve been going out.” Of course, in non-sitcom land, this rule gets voided once you’re in a serious, committed relationship — otherwise, no one could ever make marriage vows — but in the first month of dating, keep plans for the future at a minimum.
The friend whose house we were at came over to me and said “Hey, go flirt with Tim. We had great conversation and shared appetizers, entrees and on a whim he purchased a $100 half bottle of dessert wine (I later found out that he got paid that day so he was trying to impress me). After dinner we decided to drive up to Lake Tahoe and go for a swim under the moon. After our dip in our underwear, we sat on the shore and saw several shooting stars in a matter of minutes while drying off. We drove back to Reno, went to another bar that was close to my house and had a couple more drinks. After I was finished moving I called him and he was grabbing a beer with a friend so I met up with him. He wanted me to use the “wedding money” for a down payment on a house, an extended honeymoon, or for starting my own business. He just didn’t see the value in having a big, expensive wedding. Since my dad passed away, I wouldn’t really have the means to pay for a big wedding anyways. We were looking longingly into each other’s eye, warbling, whispering sweet nothings, and swapping saliva. They hope that getting married will somehow salvage their broken relationship. Why not make the honeymoon phase the foundation for our marriage? The coolest thing about our marriage is that it still feels like we are in the honeymoon phase.
He’s single right now.”I said, “I’m not single...” And my friend said, “Yeah, but your man is 6,000 miles away, and all you do is fight.” Or something along those lines…So I walked up to him and introduced myself. I remember him being handsome and polite…But that’s about it. I was single and going on way too many Tinder dates. Around 3AM he walked me home and kissed me goodnight. We got dinner, walked around downtown, then he showed me his place. And having grown up in Reno, an elopement wasn’t out of the ordinary. And it wasn’t something I was willing to put myself and my future husband into debt over. Our friend said “Will you guys just get married already? It isn’t about how long you’ve been together, it’s about the foundation you’ve built together, right? My dad remarried very quickly after my parent’s second divorce, and then passed away when I was 17. I think that is because of the precedent that we have set for our relationship early on. [Mostly because we are both stubborn assholes.] I promised myself a long time ago that I would get married once and only once.
of feelings come up within the first month of dating someone new, and one of them could definitely be love.
However, how would you feel if your partner didn't reciprocate the love, or freaked out?
You've heard it all before because it's true: No two peoples' bond is exactly like the bond between two other humans on earth.
When deciding if a month is too early to say "I love you," I think you need to ask yourself three things: "Do I want to say it? " and finally, "How upset will I be if my partner doesn't say it back to me?
We didn’t have a registry, receive thousands of dollars, monogrammed towels or knife sets. It’s Don’t feel like you need to do what society expects of you in order to have a lasting, healthy marriage or relationship. We are lucky to live in a country in which you can do whatever you want.
If that is how your marriage worked, then that’s awesome! If your gut tells you its right, then listen to it.
I hope that it was perfect and beautiful in every way. I will also mention that this story would be completely different if I married a guy I kinda sorta knew…but he turned out to kinda sorta be a psychopath.