If you’ve typically been a Fallback option, it’s best to steer clear of these situations unless you’re absolutely certain that whatever contributed to your previous habits has now changed.
In the end, it’s about because a person can have gone through a number of dubious relationship experiences and then gone through a period of personal growth and their current and future behaviour reflects their healthier habits of thinking and behaviour. Baggage Reclaim is a guide to learning to live and love with self-esteem by breaking the patterns that stand in your way.
We may be imagining all sorts of problems that may or may not exist or we’re rationalising our own boundaries, values, and even prior experiences of being in one of these situations (so knowing that we may struggle with the emotional consequences) and are thinking along the lines of, ‘Well…
I’m of a certain age so I need to prepare myself for turning a blind eye to any code amber / red actions and indications because people in this age group tend to be recently broken up / separated / divorced‘. There’s no easy answer to the question of what the ‘right time’ is for dating a separated or recently divorced person.
And, the simple answer should always be: “Not until your divorce is final.” But, life is rarely simple.
Divorcing clients are often lonely and stressed out, and they may be longing to meet someone new, feel desirable again, and just have fun.
What advice would you give me as far as first date suggestions? And if waiting is important to you, I assure you there are people out there who feel the same.
Should my courtship techniques be the same as when I was in my 20s? Question from Randi: What do you think about long-distance relationships? They take a lot of attention, by e-mail, by phone, sacrificing money because the cost can become difficult.
What you have to keep in mind is that separated is still married until the divorce is finalised and that means that there’s likely to be emotional as well as legal ties.
It would be handy if we could avoid the vulnerability that comes with doing the due diligence and taking appropriate action where needed.
Even if everything is on the up-and-up, the result is a lot of unnecessary aggravation and cost.