"People in their late 20's and early 30's seem to come to our Friday night Java Jive events," said Amy Woodworth, community relations coordinator for Borders Books and Music store in White Plains."On Saturday nights, when we have folk and guitar music, the crowd seems to be a little younger. It feels safer, and they are not pressured to have a drink." For singles in their mid-to-late 30's, and into their 40's and 50's, the situation can be more challenging.
"I've attempted the Sports Page a few times, but I just joined Club Fit in White Plains," said Laura Schwartz, a first-grade teacher who returned to live in her parents' home in Ardsley after she graduated from college last year.
"Maybe I'll meet people that way." To combat the isolation that many singles in their 20's feel when they return to live in their parents' homes after college, many tend to congregate at health clubs, especially Club Fit in White Plains; jazz spots, like the Dockside restaurant in Tarrytown, or the special events at bookstores like Encore, Borders and Barnes & Noble.
You can't go alone to fund-raising dinners of organizations you work for. fund-raisers and religious organizational events, which make up the social realm for most couples and families.
It makes it difficult." A solution that many singles have devised is establishing an alternative social universe that parallels that of the Saturday night dinner parties, community picnics, P. For those who shun the singles scene at bars, there are informal and organized alternatives, ranging from a variety of support groups to recreational activities, coffeehouses, cultural events and dating services.
For some, the focus is on meeting a potential partner.
For others, it's an opportunity to get out of their homes.
The dating service asks a lot of questions when you sign up, and asks for feedback on the dates you go on, so they're better able to match you with someone.
I think dating services are the wave of the future." For other singles, planned activities reduce the anxiety level that often accompanies socializing.
Of the nearly 380,000 married men and women in the county, there were close to 60,000 widows and widowers, 16,000 separated people and 40,000 divorced men and women, according to the 1990 United States Census.
There are those who are single through divorce or the death of a spouse as well as people who have never been married.
WHEN Naomi Kaufman, a special education teacher in the Yonkers public schools, became a widow two years ago, her once familiar world became an altered and sometimes awkward landscape. Kaufman and her husband had lived and raised their two children during a 23-year marriage, Mrs. "I felt like I had fallen off the face of the earth," Mrs. "With my married friends, I felt like a fifth wheel.