In the case of Yaz and I’s friend’s boo, his drive had clearly not met opportunity and she wasn’t ready to wait any more.At 33, she didn’t care who judged her for dumping him; she wasn’t ready to keep waiting for “prospect”. Is there an age limit for the guy’s “prospect” to materialize?
Dating someone equally yoked
What I had hoped for upon my return was a sincere apology and a renewed sense of wanting to do the right thing for our family.
What I got was anger thrown at me A week later, I asked him to move out for a separation. I was still hoping that he could be rattled, that the Lord was trying to get through to him through these steps I was taking. I know that this isn’t ALL his fault, but at a certain point it does feel like the problems of abuse and self-centeredness need to be broken before any of the other issues can be addressed. I know you can’t tell me whether or not you think I should divorce from reading these few paragraphs, but I am wondering if you can speak more to the NPD factor and how long you think it takes for safety to return (referring to your series on “Can This Marriage Be Saved”).
For the past 5 days, I’ve had Mo’Cheddah’s “No Be Money” playing on repeat in the car because I think the guys at Knight House deserve a special award for the instrumentals on that track.
You should listen to that song with correct speakers to have an idea of what I mean. Anyway, in that song, Mo’Cheddah is saying that it’s not money she’s looking for but the man.
I’ve always heard this and it was not something I’ve ever given extra thought to until I carried my friend Yaz in the car yesterday.
“Abeg what is this rubbish music you’re listening to?
In March of last year, I finally told him exactly what I thought our problem was: that he was abusive. Obviously God had gone before me and prepared his heart for that.
However, 6 months later I wasn’t really seeing changes and I was noticing he was giving himself a lot of slack with going to his therapy appointments, etc. I wrote him a letter asking him to examine those behaviors and attitudes and left with our son for the weekend for him to process that in peace.
On the other hand, it can be said that there’s a certain drive that pushes you if you are a “have not” and some people just lack it.
So it’s more of trying to figure out the point where drive/ambition meets opportunity.
Having a safe community where women can share their stories as well as resources is essential but even more so when you are in a destructive marriage.