Constant feelings of emptiness prompt her to seek stimulation from the outside.
“One day I’m her king the next moment I am no good.
There is simply no consistency.” My view: “Nice summary – exactly! ” An individual with BPD has a frantic fear of abandonment – which doesn’t help the relationship.
All beginnings are lovely – or so the sage proclaims. Two individuals come together – attraction, lust, love, personality styles, personal and family histories, attachment, and lifestyles collide – and there you are in the middle of a daring, challenging, and steamy relationship.
If this ship becomes a timeless elegant regatta or a wrack is heavily determined by the personality styles of the involved partners’.
I always ask my clients “What’s your partner’s most valuable asset – other than her portfolio?
” The correct answer is “consistency” – and consistent is what people with a history of BPD are not.
Linehan (1993) developed a treatment approach for BPD called Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT).
It’s a combination of Eastern Mindfulness Training and Western Cognitive Behavior Therapy.
Her heightened sense of emotions and difficulty to soothe herself leads to major drama even when a partner is willing to stay and work with her to overcome the challenges.
Many individuals with BPD have a history of brief and intensive relationships that ended prematurely and badly. Quite often the healthy partner leaves (or runs); he can’t deal with the emotional outbursts and relational roller coaster.
Jodi Arias – in my opinion, – a good example of a woman with quiet BPD (she functions superficially well but her chameleon-like façade breaks open once her relational views are challenged) murdered her ex-boyfriend Travis Alexander; Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction attempted to murder her former lover but failed and found her own death.