One of the more surprising revelations of the hack was that most of the members were men. Over the past 35 years we've worked with hundreds of people whose lives have been disrupted by affairs.That experience tells us that men don't join "affair" sites because of sex; they do it because of fear. Or is it that they're married to women who are terrible spouses -- that they were somehow driven to seek intimacy and comfort outside their relationships?
Here's what's at the bottom of this: Because these men don't have the tools to create connection with their wives -- in real life -- they try to work out their unexpressed feelings through fantasy.
When you're Charlie Sheen, you take off with porn stars. Unmet Need #3: Creativity All of us have a need to express our individual creativity. But men are especially prone to working too much in an effort to gain status, move up the ladder, and be good providers. Unless they're in jobs they thoroughly love, they might be making money, but they feel deeply unfulfilled.
Wake Up In A Brand New Relationship With Your Partner Ashley Madison's slogan is "Life is short.
Have an affair." We think life is too short to have an affair -- to cause unnecessary suffering to yourself and your loved ones.
So, when they feel disconnected from their partners, all they feel is the lack of intimacy.
They immediately blame the relationship or their partner rather than recognizing that it is their own inability to create connection that has caused them to feel dissatisfied.
Being emotionally transparent -- especially when it comes to sharing your scariest feelings -- can open the gateway to safety and trust in your relationship.
Your partner will feel it's okay to share his or her feelings, too.
What motivated these men to want to have an affair -- or multiple affairs? And what about the number of celebrity marriages that are breaking up, or the bizarre mid-life crisis exploits of male celebrities?