Bob Navarra, Psy D, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), says that those feelings aren't what throw a marriage off course—it's how couples handle them.
“While it may be frustrating that the toothpaste cap was left off, happy couples talk about these small things,” he says.
Making threats like this is a violation of that trust.
Threats are not a sign of love or care, but of manipulation and control.
“He may empty the dishwasher as a way of saying he cares about you.” Haltzman's suggestion: “Pay attention to what he does, and let him know you notice.” When a wife turns down sex, in her husband's mind, “she's turning him down as a person,” explains Taviano.
Using sex as a bargaining chip to get your needs meet isn't negotiating—it's emotional blackmail, which can alienate him.
Research showsthat wives are more likely to bring up problems for discussion, while husbands are more likely to withdraw at the first sign of an argument.
When this keeps happening, women tend to start conversations on a negative note, which only makes things worse. Navarra recommends sticking to “I-statements,” such as “When (this happens), I feel (frustrated, angry).Despite the picture-perfect impressions we get from upbeat Facebook posts or boastful holiday letters, even the healthiest marriages aren't 100% free of conflict.At some point, virtually everyone feels wronged by a romantic partner.Whether you're considering booking a vacation or buying a dishwasher, your partner deserves a say.The same goes for decisions that affect how you and your husband spend your time, such as inviting company over for dinner or signing up your kids for soccer.You never deserve to be threatened, no matter what, and you are never responsible for your partner’s choice to be abusive.