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And, as with all addictions, whether to substances or behaviors, the consequences to the active abuser can be profound. If you're devoted to finding a spouse or long-term partner, a traditional dating website is probably a much better option than Blendr.
Rico, a 32-year-old gay guy, had this to say about his experience: Just after a friend introduced me to Grindr, by the end of the first week, without giving it much thought, I'd had three previously unknown sex partners over to my place. If you are in a primary relationship and looking to cheat -- apps likely are your fastest route to sex and potential relationship problems.
In fact, I think he might actually be the rabid hyena. They have the kind of heady sexual tension you might find on the savanna. However, Safarigirl brings up a different point: This guy gone over the line, and she wants to know what it means. He's in it because he wants to keep the single part of himself alive.
Let me summarize: Reader Safarigirl works at a company (no doubt one with zebras, elephants, maybe a rabid hyena), and a certain attractive guy also works at the same company. That doesn't necessarily mean they're going to act on that flirtation. And if they've sworn off flirting, it means they're subverting their flirt impulse. I've been with her on-and-off for something like four years, and I've never gone over the line. You're in it because you're a little in love with him, and the only satisfactory resolution there for you is to be with him FOR REALZ.
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With sex apps there's no muss, no fuss, just the act itself and a handshake on the way out, thank you very much.
Megan, a single medical student in her mid-20s, talks about her sex app experience: When out at a club a few months ago I decided to give one of these apps a try and turned on Blendr.
And dude, here's one fact you very symbolically skipped over: You might not have known he had a girlfriend when you fell in love with him.
Get back in the Safari Jeep, and drive away from the Hyena. What do you guys think is crossing the line for a married guy?
This entire genre of apps has in effect turned your local dog park, museum, mall, and crowded train station into a gigantic "singles" bar (though not everyone is single). And if you have traditionally been the kind of person too shy to make the first move -- no worries, as long as your app is open it is actively signaling your availability, so it won't be long before someone finds you. And just as bad, two guys I genuinely liked dating dumped me when they found me cruising Grindr while they were in the other room making dinner or on the phone. But I still haven't been able to put the thing away and stay away.