And for just as long, men have known that women like to be chased.
But in recent years, most women have completely misunderstood the chase. To excel in the game of dating, you really need to understand the whys before you blindly follow something that’s been passed from one woman’s ear to another. Now it’s clear from the title of this feature that men like a chase, but why is that?
Men like chasing women for two primary reasons, for their ego and to actually understand if they want the girl.
So when a great guy finally emerges as a winner, he’d obviously know he’s better than all the other guys.
Now that’s a huge boner in his ego, and he feels like he’s just won a big prize.
[Read: How to increase your sex appeal] Why men chase – It helps them realize how important the girl is Men fall in love in stages.
The first thing they do is make the girl fall in love with them before they even consider whether they should fall back in love with her.
I wanted to tell her on the first date, but I knew that would probably be weird. She kind of gave me this half-shy, half-amused smile. But as time has gone on, I also realized that she knew something that I didn’t. I tried so hard to keep that fire going, to keep that emotion alight, but it got harder and harder. And what was even more interesting was that once I realized this on a conscious level, and started trying to find more opportunities to give, the more we both, almost intuitively, became lovey-dovey. From the excitement of dating a woman I felt like I could marry. Imagine a whole nation of people constantly chasing the emotions they had when they were dating. That’s a recipe for disastrous marriages; for a country with a 50% divorce rate; for adultery (the classic attempt to turn the fire back on); for people who do stay together to simply live functional, loveless marriages. How many people are in pain simply because they’ve been lied to.
Like most Hasidic Jews (we both became religious later in life), our dating period lasted a very short time. I mean, how you can feel that burning love when you’re sitting at the table discussing how to use the last twenty dollars in your bank account? How can you feel it when you think it makes perfect sense to put your socks on the floor after you’re done with them, and she has this crazy idea that they need to go in the laundry basket? And now, as I’m a bit older and a bit more experienced with this relationship, I’ve finally come to realize something.
If you don’t want to make a man chase you because you’re already madly in love with him, then skip the chase.
Do what your heart tells you, because I wouldn’t want you to lose a great boyfriend material because you made him run around in circles for far too long.
There was no way I could keep that dating fire burning as practicality invaded our lives. Something I haven’t wanted to admit for a long time, but is undeniable.
And even worse, it seemed that the harder I tried to be sentimental and lovey-dovey, the less it was reciprocated. Or, once we had a daughter, when I shared the responsibility of watching over her. Because as our marriage progressed, I found myself offering to help out around the house more and more. It took me longer than I care to admit to understand what was happening. Through giving, through doing things for my wife, the emotion that I had been so desperately seeking naturally came about. An emotion that, once had, somehow magically stays within a marriage forever. And I’m saddened to think about how much those messages bounced around in my head for so long.
The great girl then evaluates the odds and sees which guy likes her a lot more than the others, and also tests her compatibility at the same time.